Rememberance
by metro
Summary: Thoughts of Bonnie and Damon, years after the scene on the clearing. These are just short moments, therefore, short chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Sad memories   
By: Crashnburn_021   
PG-13 (maybe more later)   
Crashnburn_021@yahoo.com   
Characters belong to L.J Smith; I could never create such beauty. I think I might try and come up with some characters of my own later. 

She remembers them all now. The memories flooding her mind, fragmented pieces of moments that she thought she had long ago forgotten. But she should have known better, she should have known that she could never forget. It was just that sometimes..... Sometimes after the sun would set; it would all come back to her. Sometimes when the world was dark and dreaming and the only sounds that could be heard were the rustling of animals amongst the street dumpsters or the screeching rats inside the sewers, and if she reached even further she could hear and feel so much more; the murmurs of the trees, the solid pride of the rigid mountains, the serenity of the silent lakes, the whispered secrets of the moon. When all this was real and tangible to her senses and hers alone, the memories would come back and they brought with them the irony of the situation. On the last night, that one night that changed everything she had stood alone.... and afraid. And now, six years later, it is the same. Except that now there was no longer any fear, but the loneliness, the feeling of standing on the outside looking in, was permanent. 

She could identify feelings..... emotions felt be those who had been around her that one night. The pain, the love, the betrayal, and above all was her and her rage. Pure, unadulterated rage that shot thru her veins and froze the blood in them, rage that made her want to take it all away. Take away the world and all that was in it. Because they had all been through so much already, they had been hurting too much for too long and if she took away the world it would all end. But it didn't end and they had all survived, they had won the battle, yet there was nothing to celebrate. *The paths of glory lead but to the grave* and if we would follow our triumph it would lead us all to the graves of all those who died, those who could not celebrate with us. 

She should've stopped this self-damnation long ago, but it was the only thing that made her feel alive these days. On the outside everything was fine; she had good friends, great career and..... no one to love. She was so alone now only her memories to accompany her, and she feared this is how it would all end. Her alone. Without anyone to care for her, because she had missed her chance. That last night had really been the last, for so many things. Last night of being a bubbly, happy-go-lucky teenager, last night of having a normal life, last night to tell someone you loved them. And he had walked away, and she had lost him, because she had been afraid. She was given the rare opportunity to be happy, something revolutionary, to stop worrying about everything else and to just be happy. He could've laughed in her face or...... he could've loved her, but she lost that, because she hesitated. She had been so afraid. Months later she had promised herself she would never be afraid again, but she was still alone. 

This is what I have so far, what do you think? Guess you're wondering whom this character is? Tell me who you think it is, although I think it's obvious? This is from a poem by Worthwood, I think. But it's not mine! P.S. this is a complete story on its own, but it might become series. 


	2. Chapter 2

Sad memories (2nd in series)   
By: Crashnburn_021   
PG-13 (maybe more later)   
Crashnburn_021@yahoo.com   
Characters belong to L.J Smith; I could never create such beauty. I think I might try and come up with some characters of my own later. 

He hated this dream. Hated the sour taste it left in his mouth, the pounding in his head that would not stop, and the hollowness in his heart that reminded him everyday of the fact that he was once again alone. It wasn't that he was still hurting from Elena's rejection; in fact, if he were true to himself he'd be able to admit that the pain wasn't ever there. It wasn't Elena he had wanted, not specifically; he had simply wanted someone. Someone to choose him, over everyone and everything, like Elena had chosen Stefan. He wanted someone to have him. But that was, apparently, too much to ask; just a little happiness after 500 years of regretting, of loosing a small part of himself to every women he bedded. "I've lived for so long, suppressing these emotions and now they haunt me in everything I do." He said out loud, to no one in particular. He just wanted a chance to be happy, what ever that was. He had done well; saved the small town and its residents, saved his brother and his friends. He deserved a chance. After being dormant for centuries, my heart has finally remembered promise and purpose, He thought bitterly as he sat up in bed. 

The fucking irony of it was that he had had a chance. She had chosen him, over everyone else she could've had; she had chosen to have him. Her feelings for him had run deeper than a simple crush, but he had walked away. He remembered looking into her eyes, seeing what she saw in him, what no one else had ever seen. What everyone refused to see, or simply couldn't see. And he had walked away. 

He hated this dream. This dream where she was very real and so achingly beautiful. Yet so fucking unavailable to him. She would beg him with her eyes, asking him why he hadn't wanted her. Why he hadn't wanted her the way he had wanted Elena. And he tried to answer, but could not say a word. He would stand there and watch every time, watch as the tears formed in her eyes, tears of rejection. And he wished with all he had and all he wanted that he could tell her; tell her that he had wanted her, still wanted her now. That he had been scared; he had seen the real forever in her eyes and he had hesitated. 

In the end the overwhelming need to touch her was making his body ache, and just looking in to those eyes......God, did she really see that kind of greatness in him? Just looking into her eyes and recognizing the longing, the barely sustained passion directed towards him was......devastating. He would wake up sweating, on the verge of screaming. Wanting to have her next to him. In her place, forever, in his bed. But she was never there and his heart would sink to the lowest point, because he was still alone and he could faintly remember that she smelled like strawberries. 

He hated this dream. 

This is what is the second part in the series Sad Memories, what do you think? Guess you're wondering whom this character is? Tell me who you think it is, although I think it's obvious? And tell me what you think about the story, if you want me to continue or not? 


	3. Chapter 3

Sad memories (2nd in series, second version)   
By: Crashnburn_021   
PG-13 (maybe more later)   
Crashnburn_021@yahoo.com   
Characters belong to L.J Smith; I could never create such beauty. I think I might try and come up with some characters of my own later 

He wasn't one for sentimentalities and he never romanticized anything. But he had loved her, even if he had never admitted to it; from the beginning he had loved her. Loved her because of what she had represented, a conquest, something to obtain, to posses and wield as he pleased. If you could call that love, and in his twisted mind it was the closest he had ever gotten to loving someone (since his mother), than yes, he had loved Elena Gilbert. Loved. All she was now was a past weakness, mere fragmented moments. A memory. Of beautiful eyes that reminded Damon of the one he never had, the one who didn't think him enough for her. In retrospect, both women had loved him, loved the idea of him. But he wasn't going to fool himself; he knew they had loved his brother better. Stefan. For years he hated him, despised what he had represented to Katherine. Honesty, virtue, dutifulness and integrity warped inside soulful green eyes that bore into you. He wondered of Stefan knew the kind of power those eyes possessed. In the time he had looked into those eyes, Stefan near death, he had wanted to do anything for him. Hated him afterwards for making him feel. Because contrary to popular believe Damon could feel; he could feel the bloodlust constantly, the barely contained primitive animal inside him, the anger and outrage rejection caused. He felt all those. 

The memories were few in between, but they were clear. Meredith. Matt. Bonnie. Bonnie with all that druid blood running through her veins, interlaced with a silky fire that was all her own. But they hadn't mattered much, less even, than what Elena and his brother mattered now. Still bonnie had been beautiful, even more now, he speculated. She had been a contradiction of herself; weak and scared on the outside, but with a kind of strength and bravery that was impressive for a human to possess. Back then he couldn't see that, of course, with Elena around everyone seemed to fall short of his grace. But he was on the outside looking into the memories, seeing the real in the false. Looking into her eyes, dark-brown pools with firelights, and seeing what she saw in him. It was almost too much, even for him, to deal with that. No one had ever..... did she really see that kind of greatness in him? Yet he had walked away, though having been tempted to stay one more night, after hearing her say his name that way. He stepped out of the situation and looked..... really looked and realized what he had to do. Move on. So he took of his jacket, put it around Elena's shoulders as a sort of goodbye... how he loved symbolism. And walked away from all of them, from the witch that saw too much of what he hid, too much for his comfort. Still Bonnie had been beautiful, even more now, he speculated. 

This is what is the second part in the series Sad Memories, what do you think? Guess you're wondering whom this character is? Tell me who you think it is, although I think it's obvious? And tell me what you think about the story, if you want me to continue or not? 


	4. Chapter 4

Sad memories (4th)   
By: Crashnburn_021   
PG-13 (maybe more later)   
Crashnburn_021@yahoo.com   
Characters belong to L.J Smith; I could never create such beauty. I think I might try and come up with some characters of my own later. 

When I was younger, I wanted a to live life, but lately all I've wanted to do is die. To crawl under the deepest abysmal hole in the earth. To be forgotten by humanity. I've always believed those dead only feel the pain of death when someone thinks of them, that is why I want to be forgotten. And I know that what ever he is feeling, where ever he is right now, he isn't thinking of me. He's moved on and I'm still stuck on him, like an awful stench. 

"Bonnie, you've been spacing in and out of reality for days, what's wrong?" Teresa was Bonnie's guide through the cleansing, but for all that she wanted, she could not tell her about her thoughts. The thoughts that plagued her, that stopped her dead on her tracks, that made her feel liable and seventeen again. But she would soon be initiated in to the Coven and such things were not allowed, so Bonnie was set on forgetting, forgetting him and her past. She had a future now, and she refused to throw it away for something unreal and inaccessible. 

"Nothing is wrong Sister Teresa, I've simply been digressing lately. But it isn't anything I cannot take care of on my own." Bonnie stood up, having made up her mind that she had to deal with this and deciding the best way to do so, was to confront her feelings dead on. To confront him. She was going to see Damon. 

"Peace be with you, Sister Teresa. I need to take care of some unfinished business before I take my place as a pillar of the Coven. I'll travel to Europe, stay with the sisters that reside there and I will contact you as soon as I have resolved the issue." "As you wish. Peace be with you, Child. And I hope that you find what ever it is you are looking for. For your sake as well as the Covens'" Teresa said solemnly, knowing better than to start asking bonnie questions she knew she wouldn't get the answers to. 

Bonnie could not believe she was doing this; she was going to face him. Get everything out in the open and see where it takes her. She didn't expect Damon to profess his dying love for her, but if she didn't tell him soon, everything she had worked for would crumble around her. This life that she had created, her beloved Coven, life as witch.. everything gone, destroyed. 

She was going to tell him what she had wanted to say for so long. That she loved him, that she always would. That it wasn't weakness, that she was strong and she needed to move on. That she didn't expect him to feel the same, she didn't really care how he felt. Her future was at stake and she refused to back down. And then she'd leave and all would go back to normal. Al l she had to do now was bring herself to knock on that door. Suddenly the large wooden door swung open and standing there was Damon, in all his beauty and glory and bonnie wondered were her determination went. Because as soon as that door open all she saw was dark eyes and teenage love. "Well, what a surprise. I must say, it is good to see you again bonnie." Amused look on his face and a smirk that wont quit. And she can't help herself. Kisses him hard, even more surprised when he kisses back with a strange kind of intensity that made her wonder. It really did. 


	5. Authors Note

Who wants to Beta this puppy for me, so I can finally get it finished? 


	6. Chapter 5

Sad memories (5th)   
By: Metro   
PG-13 (maybe more later)   
metrocard_nyc@yahoo.com   
Characters belong to L.J Smith; I could never create such beauty. I think I might try and come up with some characters of my own later.   
Thanks to those who have reviewed. Thank you so much. 

_You've used up all your coupons and all you have left is me. And somehow I'm full of forgiveness, I guess it's meant to be_

There are many things in live that are inevitable, and when you've lived for as long as I have, you learn each and every one of them. The incredible thing is, that even though you know what they are, can recognize them in every situation, you're never prepared for when the inevitable comes. 

This is how I felt about Bonnie McCollough. 

Walking away from that clearing 5 years ago, and somehow, I knew I hadn't seen the last of her. I remember, when I looked back at all of them, hiding by the overgrown vegetation of the forest. I remember her looking at me, in my direction and I felt a jolt inside. Something was moved. 

Moved by her. Her ability to hide such strength. Her ability to adapt to situation, to adapt who she is, so that others may feel useful. 

I never, of course, understood all this, until a few years ago. 

I never understood why bonnie was who she was. I never I understood that without bonnie being seemingly helpless and weak, Stefan, Matt and even Elena, couldn't have been so strong. 

They all needed someone to save. 

...And she played the part so well. 

Wide and trusting eyes. Warn, welcoming smile. 

But I digress. Where was I? Oh yes, inevitability. 

It creeps up behind you, like the childhood monster in your closet. 

You never know the repercussions, just that it's touched you. 

...But years later, you can still feel the warmth of its touch. 

Everything was fine that day. Nothing different, nothing out of the ordinary. 

The dreams had ceased a week before... my life of carelessness seemed to be back in order. 

Of course, as is it's meaning, the inevitable occurred. 

I had just come back from the hunt. I felt satisfied. And expectant. 

As was usual for him, he had dismissed the help for the rest of the week. He had no need for them. When he did, they would come. 

He wasn't expecting anyone, so it was quite a surprise to hear the sound of knocking on his from door. 

And he certainly wasn't expecting to see her there. But here she was and she was herself. 

In all her inevitable splendor, she was there. 

And he couldn't stop her from being there, he didn't think he wanted to. In fact, her being there was what he wanted at that time, in that moment, in that space. 

And she was there and she was herself. 

And he was himself, so he said what himself certainly would've said, had he been in his right mind at the sight of her. 

"Well, what a surprise. I must say, it is good to see you again bonnie." 

God, that had sounded practiced, even to his own ears. 

it didn't matter though, whether he sounded like himself, or some else... someone she had created with her presence. It didn't matter because all of a sudden, she was kissing him. 

I don't remember he moving, but she was there, and the kiss was there, and I was in the kiss... 

...and I've been in it ever since. 

**No ladies and gents, this is not the end. Fear not. However, the end is new. This isn't meant to be a full, blown out story. These are just moments, instants in these two character's lives. REVIEWS REVIEWS REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!! **


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